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  • Writer's pictureGina Scholl

I didn't always believe in the Holy Spirit and thought a life with God would be dull...

Updated: Jan 20

a young girl sitting by a decorated Christmas tree
Christmas in the 1980's

When I was young, I loved to pretend that I was the queen in charge of a castle or a mermaid who could swim off into the vastness of the ocean. I spent more hours in my own imgination then I did in the reality of life.

It was at my Grandmother's home in Rossmoor, California where I really began to stretch the limits of my creativity. For me, her house was a magical place.

a young girl hugging her Grandmother in front of the Christmas tree wearing matching red shoes and dresses
Christmas morning with my Grandmother Lillian

She had a Macintosh computer in her office where I played Wagon Trail and pretended I was a pioneer on a grand adventure. She had a closet packed with dresses, bellbottom pants, high heels, and colorful hats that I would drape myself in creating characters in a play. She had a bookcase filled with children's books that I read and learned to harness the emotional power of literature. I did this all while snuggled in her waterbed.

When I played in my made up world, I liked to break the rules. It wasn't that I craved rebellion, but as the baby of a strict Irish-Italian Catholic family, there were a lot of rules. I often felt unheard as I navigated them.

I also didn't think God, the creator of everything cared to know about my dreams or make believe worlds and ideas.


In my teenage years, I challenged the Catholic beliefs that my parents raised me with. I began to question everything I knew about Catholicism and rationalized my doubts of Christ and the Holy Spirit as free will. I became less interested in following a creator with rules. I believed that God would hold me back from discovering all the beauty the world had to offer me and I ran from Him.

I ran away from God and I ran away from home at eighteen since I could.

I ended up living with my Grandmother who invited me back into her home. I eventually made peace with my parents but I didn't make peace with God for fifteen more years. In 2015, I decided to take a Holy Spirit Challenge for an entire year where I discovered what a life with God could actually mean.

I didnt know spending time with God and the Holy Spirit could be freeing, colorful, purposeful, and comforting.

A girl who was once bored of religion now wakes up greatful for another chance to know Him deeper.

A relationship with God can not be forced, I encourage you to test His truths for yourself. I challenge you to explore what an authentic relationship with God and the Holy Spirit can look like. If you truly do not believe, what do you really have to lose?

Challenge question: When have you had a spiritual experience with someone outside of yourself? How did that impact you? Comment below.

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